Is there a mother who sleeps great every night???

I’m honestly very curious about this question. Please let me know if you do, or if you don’t and I’m not alone in this. LOL

Granted, while talking to Paul this morning, I mentioned how I woke up SO tired! He then commented that I’ve been waking up tired for the last 22 years. ( Ha ha honey)

Which, I resisted pointing out to him that I’ve only been a mother for 19 years so that can only mean my poor sleep is completely HIS FAULT! HA!

No, I know after having kids I didn’t sleep well. What mother does?

But then, since my 2020 concussion & stroke, it got worse. A LOT WORSE.

If I have more than one Doctor appointment in a day my cognitive fatigue hits its max. Just my luck, today is one of those days! I had an 8:30 appointment this morning, and a 2:00 appointment this afternoon. Yay me. *Complete sarcasm*

Not to mention it’s Friday and we go to the farm every Friday to do the chores, AND we planned our Annual Family Pumpkin contest for after school today. I’m going to be a wreck by 7pm.

I always find it so hard to stay caught up with everything. Yet I keep giving myself more to do. I do realize this is NOT a good thing to be doing but, in my defense, I need to keep myself busy. I NEED to keep learning new things, do new projects, on top of my already responsibilities.

If I don’t…… I feel almost, stagnant. I get bored and when I feel bored, I get depressed. When I feel depressed, I spiral downhill, and this, this I NEED to avoid. So, I keep myself busy. Dumb. Yes, I know.

I know because at 2:30 this morning I woke up because my mind was racing over everything I need to get done this weekend……

‘ I have my beef tallow rendoring, I can’t forget that. I want to get one more batch of lotion made before Sunday. I need to get my chores done. I need to wash eggs. Don’t forget to catch up on laundry! I needed to be in Algoma for my 8:30 appointment. Then get home and hopefully accomplish some housework and this blog before running to Green Bay for my 2:00 appointment. Then home in time to meet up with the family for pumpkin picking. Then farm chores. Then we still need to eat something for supper! Then tomorrow is Janina’s senior photo session, and she wants beach wave hair. Beach wave hair is the one hair thing I suck at but mostly because her hair doesn’t hold well, it goes straight. Always. If I mess that up, she’ll be so disappointed in me, and I’ll be so bummed knowing my daughter is disappointed in me. Then the rest of the day after that I’m getting things ready for the craft sale at the High School on Sunday. I’m not ready. This is my first time with my new little business and I’m just making it up as I go… Do I make a sign? No sign? What if I tank and no one likes my products?? That will just trigger a depression. Why am I such a loser freaking out over everything like I do!? I’m SO tired, WHY CAN’T I JUST BLOCK THIS OUT AND FALL ASLEEP!?’

All this. At fucking 2:30 am. My Fitbit scolded me this morning for being awake for 73 minutes this morning. Wrecking my sleep score. Screw you Fitbit, you try doing this!

Then when I DID finally fall back asleep, I dreamt about teas, and which mixes might be useful to try, and picking my chocolate mint to dehydrate because I’m running low.

When did I start dreaming about tea!?

Now IF I were smarter and had a better memory, I would have made my sleepy time tea last night and most likely would have slept through the night much better.

But I forgot, and I didn’t, and I regret that. “Damn it Sue!”

(I do scold myself often in my head. I hope I’m not the only one who does that also? LOL)

I know every good mother has this same issue. But when you have this issue and add in PCS & TBI and migraines on top of it, it’s SO much worse.

It’s like going through your days, 24/7, on a battery that is constantly blinking to be changed because it’s running out. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the last 6 years.

*I think you should be able to feel my facial expression right through your screen over this statement. *

Over the past few years, I researched and tried different mixes until I found a tea mix that works great to get me nice and sleepy.

Melatonin only worked for a short while and I’m not a big fan. Obviously by now you’ve learned I am NOT a fan of pharmaceutical drugs, and their unwanted side effects, and do not want another rX just to sleep. So, I searched for a more, herbal, natural sleep aid.

Thus, was born, my ‘Sleepy Time Tea’ mix. Steeped for a good 10-12 minutes. Sweetened with some raw local honey and I love it.

I try to drink it about an hour before bed and then I head to bed early to read a book instead of looking at the TV or Phone screen. This relaxes my brain and usually, Paul ends up taking my book out of my sleeping hands, replacing my bookmark, and turning out the light. It’s nice. *ahhhhh*

My only issue is, my horrible memory! I forget to make it. I NEED to get into a better routine of making it every night with my supper but yes, I know. I fail. A lot.

I forget a lot. I fail a lot. Everyone fails. I’m not going to be embarrassed over this. I’ll just try harder to remember next time.

Unless next time my cognitive fatigue will just shut my brain down itself and I won’t even be able to think of it. (This happens often also) I become a stuttering, wobbly mess, who has to literally force myself to THINK of how I’m moving my feet just in order to climb the stairs to bed without falling.

Once I’m up those stairs, I’m NOT going back down, tea or not.

This is where I’ll leave things for today.

If you would like to try my Sleepy Time tea I should have it available in my Etsy store coming soon.

Take care of yourselves.

*Hugs*